Welcome to The Empress Has No Clothes
Stay Connected

Conquering the impostor syndrome to claim the joy, zest, and power of your success


Lessons I have learned that I would tell my younger self - Part ll
By | Nov 22, 2016

Last week I introduced a four-part series of lessons on the road to success which was made possible by letters from four amazing senior women executives who talked candidly about their experiences on the road to success. Jennifer, our first amazing woman, shared the lesson that we don’t have to work so hard and sacrifice so much in order to achieve our goals. She taught us that perfection is overrated and that we need to relax and give ourselves a break.
If you missed Jennifer’s letter just go to the Articles section of the website to read it.

I am excited to share another powerful life lesson from our second incredible senior executive woman, Tamika. You will hear from Tamika that she learned she didn’t have to constantly prove her worth and prove that “she was not a mistake”.

Here is Tamika’s lesson:

Dear Tamika,

You were not a mistake and you don’t have to continue to prove that you weren’t a mistake.  God doesn’t make mistakes. 

 In fact, isn’t that what my great grandmother meant when she said to my mother at the age of 18, “One day you will be so happy that you had that baby…”  So when is that “one day” you continuously ask yourself as you continue to let that control you, push you and even define you.  Be brave… as you can hear the whisper “One day this will all seem worth it. Someday, I will make you proud.” 

Well, strive to be amazing as you patiently wait for that day to come.  I assure you, Tamika, it will come. Whether it’s the day you pass the bar exam, yes it may not be until you are 25 years old or perhaps it’s at the age of 9 when you and your mother lay on the side of the road after being hit by a drunk driver (bleeding) as her face is scarred from protecting you rather than herself and the other driver was pronounced dead on the scene. Perhaps in those uncertain moments she realized that I wasn’t a mistake?  Regardless, you can be certain that that day will come and it won’t be for the reasons that you thought – no, it won’t be because of the letters behind your name, the amount of money that you make, the fancy shoes (seriously, not the shoes!) or any material things - it will simply be because of the impact that you made on the world - simply because you exist and live a life of gratitude and service to others. This is where you will find fulfillment – your PURPOSE! 

There are a few things that I will ask you to also remember –

  1. If you could be so “lucky” choose a true partner in every sense of the word – one that contributes equally and sees your success as their success;
  2. Create your personal brand;
  3. Do not compare yourself to others – Live your own purpose;
  4. Find your true passion;
  5. Gift the gift of “experiences, time and presence” to your children and always lead by example;
  6. Be authentic;
  7. Don’t allow your struggles to take away your joy;
  8. Have integrity in everything you do;
  9. Remember chances favor the prepared individual;
  10. Take risks – remove fear from the equation.  Don’t let the acronym stand for Forget Everything and Run, but rather Face Everything and Rise!;

And finally, be authentic and/or Be … Be still and know that you were not a mistake and yes that too……. Please “…know that I am GOD!” And today, just like every day in your life, your mother is fulfilled.  Your mother is whole because of you.  Your mother is happy she had you and God knows and in fact, everyone will know you are not a mistake.  JUST CONTINUE TO BE…